Why do you want to be called [new name]?

It’s my second name and my now preferred name. I’ve been using it abroad for many years (since my first name is unpronounceable for many non-Germans), and the longer I used it, the more it became my preferred name. Since I have hated my first name all my life, I’ve now reached a point where I would like to get rid of it and be addressed by my second name.

Why do you hate your first name (old name)?

I have hated my first name ever since I became consciously aware of what an old-fashioned, stupid name it is. In German, it rhymes with a lot of bad things. Therefore, I was mobbed because of my name throughout primary and secondary school. It is partially a reason for why I became an introverted person. There was a time when I couldn’t even speak my own name because I hated it so much. Eventually I got (mostly) over it and accepted it as I grew older. But I suppose a scar remains where there once was a gaping wound, and my name has been robbing me of self-confidence ever since I can think. It just doesn’t really feel like “me” anymore, especially now that I’ve started using my second name in a lot of situations.

I think your old name is fine!

That’s nice, but I don’t! For me it carries so much past baggage that it feels like this is a different person’s name, not the person I am now. I’ve reached a stage in my life where I see my name written (e.g. on my credit card), thinking “Who is that?”. Seeing or pronouncing my name has always given me a disphoric feeling ever since my childhood, but nowadays, I just don’t see myself as a person with that name anymore.

What is problematic about your old name abroad?

In Germany it is not a very problematic name, but anywhere else, people have a very hard time understanding and pronouncing my first name. Because I like to travel, because I have a lot of non-German friends, and because there’s a chance I might live abroad some day, I prefer to use a name that is relatively easy to understand and pronounce for speakers of most languages.

Why change it now and not earlier?

Better late than never? Back when I had the opportunity (when I stopped working and started university), I was in a phase of trying to accept my name again and just didn’t think about it. Stupid me.

I’ve been thinking about changing it completely for about 2 years, but it’s not easy for me either, because I feel like it will confuse everyone who knows me by my first name and I don’t want to burden people too much with this. But I’m thinking that if people can easily get used to calling someone by a new last name (e.g. when they get married), why should calling someone by a new first name be so different?

Why [new name] and not some other name?

It’s already on my passport, so it seemed like the easiest option. I thought about other names as well, but I couldn’t really think of any name that would feel like me, and also, it would not be easy at all to get a completely new name on my passport. So I decided to work with what I’ve got instead. I’m not a super huge fan of “[new name]” either due to its religious connotation, but it’s a very nice-sounding and internationally compatible name.

Can I still call you by your old name?

I prefer if you don’t.