Today I am sadly leaving Australia. During my time here, I assumed the role of observer and tried to gain as much knowledge about Australians and their culture as possible. I would like to share my observations here, even though I might risk angering my Australian friends by reinforcing some stereotypes! Oh dear… but wait, angry Australians? I don’t think such a thing exists…

Please note: some observations might be exclusive to Queenslanders.

  • Be nice and friendly! It’s true, Australians are nice and friendly (and they just can’t help it). They will always greet you with a smile and chat to you, even if you’re just paying for something at the supermarket. Sometimes they might even tell you their whole life story within 2 minutes… well probably not really. But if they see a stranger lurking about, they might just approach them and chat about whatever they feel like, be it the history of an Australian institution or just some advice on what exhibited items in the museum to really check out.
  • Forget everything you ever knew about footwear and just get some flip-flops. Also, they’re called thongs. Another confirmed stereotype: the average Australian doesn’t bother with footwear other than thongs. They’re a common sight pretty much everywhere, even in the middle of Queensland “winter”. Most department stores have a huge variety of thongs for you to choose from, though sadly it’s impossible to find gender-neutral ones. If you can’t bother to put on your thongs, it’s also perfectly fine to just go barefoot.
  • Learn to dance the nut bush. When the nut bush starts playing, dance the nut bush. I was quite astonished when I was at a party in Australia and suddenly all the Aussies (even the old ones) stood in a grid on the dance floor and started dancing to Tina Turner’s Nutbush City Limits. Apparently all Aussies learn this dance in school and it’s an unwritten rule in Australian society that when the nut bush comes on, you dance the nut bush. So if you want to blend in with Australians, you better learn this dance.
  • Always have heaps of TimTams in your house (or fridge, depending on the heat). If you go somewhere to hang out with friends, always bring TimTams. TimTams are chocolate wafer biscuits which are hard to describe, but fact is they’re awesome! All Australians agree with me, because I have observed them bringing TimTams to parties or get-togethers again and again. Apparently the best way to eat them is by biting off the ends and sucking hot chocolate through them until they’re soaked. I haven’t tried this because of my lactose intolerance and my indifference towards hot beverages. But I do love TimTams!
  • (Solo) Lemonade is always preferable to Coke or other sodas. At all the food outlets and parties I’ve been to, a lot of Aussies will give preference to lemonade over coke, sprite or other beverages. After I have tried this lemonade, I see their point. It’s awesome!
  • Always carry a tube of sunscreen with you. Some people think that all animals in Australia want to kill you. That’s one of those silly and totally untrue stereotypes. The likelihood of encountering dangerous animals in Australia is very small. But there is something that really wants to kill you: the sun! Every Australian with half a brain knows that and never goes out of the house without having put on sunscreen and having a tube of sunscreen on them all the time.
  • Complain about how Australia has way too much sun and about how it’s always way too hot. Obviously a lot of Australians have never lived anywhere like Europe, so they refuse to believe that having sunshine all the time is the best thing ever. They firmly believe that it’s way too hot and would rather stay somewhere with air conditioning, rain, even snow. Speaking of snow, a lot of Australians might ask you to describe it to them…
  • As soon as the temperature drops below 15°C, complain about how bloody cold it is. Much like Germans, Australians complain about the weather no matter how hot or cold it is. For me, experiencing the winter in Queensland was a bit like summer in Germany, though with a lot more sun. It was very cold during the nights, but that’s just because Australian houses don’t have heating. So yes, it is pretty cold… but still, it’s positively hot compared to a European winter.
  • Get a tattoo. Possibly a really bad one. How about the southern cross (the star constellation on the Aussie flag)? No? Maybe a compass? Or just some scribbles? Australians appear to be heavily tattooed. Everywhere you go, you’ll see lots of tats around. My friend from England, however, pointed out that we probably just see more tattoos in Australia because Australians wear less clothes than English people – it’s a weather thing. Who knows how tattooed Europeans really are? We rarely get to see them half naked.
  • Go to the beach whenever possible. Ideally with a surfboard. Again, it’s true, Australians love to hang out at the beach. And it’s obvious why: they’ve got tons of amazing beaches, which for the average Australian are usually no more than about a half-hour car ride from their home. Surfboards are obligatory.
  • If you live somewhere somewhat remote within half an hour of the coast, you’re favourite pastime is fishing. If you drive along the coast, once you’re about an hour or so from the next really big city, EVERYTHING is full of fishing supplies! Bait, tackle, rods, you name it…
  • Rugby ain’t just Rugby… Nope. There’s Rugby League, Rugby Union and even Australian Rules Football. That’s actually all I know about Rugby because I really don’t care about sports at all. If you do, I suggest reading up on that.
  • Speaking of sports… don’t talk to an Australian who is watching Cricket or Rugby. It’s the one time they would probably just grunt at you. (But, surprisingly, not all Australians care about sports).

And what would a summary on Australian stereotypes be without a bit of slang? There’s heaps of Australian slang, but it’s probably not quite like you’d think…

  • “heaps” is very Australian. Use it whenever you’re English teacher has taught you to use “lots”.
  • “G’day mate”. Um, not so much. Though Australians do say “G’day” a lot, and they do they “mate” a lot, the two very rarely ever coincide. In fact, “mate” is a bit gender-relevant. It’s mostly heard in male-to-male speech. In female-to-female speech, you’ll more often hear “doll”, “sweetie” or “love”. Usually it’s older woman who address younger women (sometimes also men) as such.
  • No worries! This is the ultimate allround answer to everything. Here are some example conversations:
    • “Thank you for doing that thing for me!” – “No worries”
    • “I’m so anxious about that thing!” – “It’ll be fine, no worries.”
    • “OMG, you were bitten by a shark, you’re bleeding!” – “It’s just a scratch, no worries!”
  • Another expression that can often be heard is “She’ll be right”. I think it is supposed to mean something like “Everything will be OK”, but I have the slightest feeling that when Australians say this, they actually mean “I have a bad feeling about this”.
  • If a word (especially a name) has more than one syllable, take the first syllable, add a -[i], and disregard all other syllables. Notable examples:
    • Australian = Aussie
    • Brisbane = Brissie
    • Mosquito = Mozzie
    • Sunglasses = Sunnies
    • Breakfast = Brekkie
    • Poker Machines = Pokies
    • Bundaberg = Bundy
    • University = Uni
    • Notable exception: Kangaroo = ‘roo
  • Aussie is often at great risk of being mispronounced by foreigners. It’s pronounced Ozzy, just like Ozzy Osbourne!
  • Australian English is a good example for the continuing change of English to an analytic language, because it slowly eliminates the use of “are”. Why use this complicated unregular grammatical form when you can just say “There‘s multiple things of stuff over there” or “Is there any questions?”
  • Everything is awesome. Australians are known for the positive attitude and friendliness. Indeed, Australians will describe pretty much everything as “awesome”. Other exclamations quite often heard are “excellent”, “beautiful”, “sweet”, “nice”, “fantastic”, “brilliant” and “cool”. I’m not so sure about “geronimo” though.

That’s all I can think of for now! I hope you feel confident about blending in on your next visit to Australia! But of course, there is no such thing as a recipe for being Australian. Australia is one of the most diverse countries in the world with about one-third of the population having a migration background. And let’s not forget the indigenous Australians, who have 40,000 years of there own cultural background. Australia is an anthropological adventure which never gets boring – so many cultural influences that form a diverse society which can hardly be put into words. Having said that, there’s one word which describes it pretty well: awesome.